Promoting a Healthy Family Life: Tips and Strategies

The word “Family” is usually associated with care, affection, support etc. all of which are in turn associated with love. But due to this, and since it’s “meant to be”, do we sometimes take our families for granted? Let’s look at how not to and what we can do to show them that love.

1. Express your concern for them: The simplest way to show your love for someone is to enquire about them and express your care and concern for them. A simple question of “how was your day?” “you seem tired, would you like some tea?” goes a long way in making someone feel cared for.

2. Communicate Openly: Ensuring a two-way transparent communication exists in your family can create an environment of safety and trust. Listen to your family without judgements, without waiting to give your advice- just listen to understand and support. Similarly, if you have concerns with any of your family, express openly. Whether you want show love or express some concern, it is always best to not assume for others as to what their intentions could be. Eg. “I know my mother loves my sister/brother more than me”

3. Empathize: I had my mother once tell me “Can you stop screaming at your grandmother at home first before crying over this film?” Many a times, we are blind to what we do or what our dear ones go through at home and we feel empathy for an outsider. It is important to feel that same thing even with the people we take for granted.

4. Take up responsibility: When we take up responsibilities at home without our parents/children having to say it, it communicates to the other member that we understand what they want, which in turn makes them feel loved.

5. Spend quality time together: The word “Quality” is very important here. When we indulge in an activity with our family members, by giving them 100% of our time and attention, it comes across as a strong sign of love or care as supposed to indulging in a passive activity like watching TV together or playing video games together.

6. Don’t Shy away from physical affection: Often times, we find parents or children feel embarrassed when they hug or kiss after they have reached a certain age. There is nothing that can replace the warmth of a hug or sometimes even a simple pat on the shoulder.

7. Surprise them: I am not talking about material gifts here, but responsibilities. When we sometimes help out with a chore at home or with our family member’s work, without them asking for it, it reminds them that we care too.

8. Small things matter: Leaving notes of appreciation once in a while, saying thank you or a simple gesture like a smile go a long way and makes one feel acknowledged.

9. Eat together: This gives good time for the family to share their lives with one another.

10. Reduce technology as a mode of communication: A parent once told me “My child responds quickly over WhatsApp, so if I want something I usually text him about it”. Within the house, encourage more direct communication rather than over the phone. Technology creates a distance at home.

11. Come up with a family routine/ritual: Ensure that you come up with a routine or an activity that gives a few days with your family without the distraction of work/studies. This ensures that the safety net of security, support and love remains intact and strong. Eg. Travelling together or going for drives.

12. Involve one another in decision making: Parents often times do not engage children in the decision making processes at home. However, when we indulge them in certain age appropriate decisions, it increases their sense of belonging with their families. It also increases trust. Eg. What groceries they want to buy for this week or deciding the activity for the family ritual.

Credits- Mpower- The Centre, Bangalore