Self Love Tips To Improve Mental Health

Self-love, the fundamental ability to treat oneself with appreciation, acknowledgment, and respect, is one of the most challenging and many times a neglected aspect of our lives. To fathom what one could do to be able to access this ‘superpower’, let us first try and understand what it is not!

• Self-love is not PERFECTION. 
• It is not SELFISHNESS
• It is not an end goal, but a lifestyle practice!

Here are some tips to kindle the connection with oneself, and also expand the understanding of what it is not, as mentioned above. Because self-love is the way to ensure quality of life and therefore better mental health. 

1. Self-care: On an aircraft, the attendant always says in case of an emergency, wear your mask first before you begin to help another. Now this definitely has meaning beyond the flight situation. However obvious it is, that only if we take care of ourselves will we be able to offer anything to another, this information tends to elude us more often than not! Self-care very simply asks for one to eat healthy, sleep well, exercise, and socialize. These may seem like just everyday things, but just being mindful about it is key!

2. Practicing Mindfulness: Our minds are wanderers. They are more often than not, everywhere but the present moment. It is imperative that we tame this ‘wanderer’ to be able to bring ourselves to the present moment, because “It’s what you do in the present that will redeem the past and thereby change the future”. Meditation and mindfulness are instrumental practices that aid in harnessing the full potential of oneself and the present moment!

3. Self-Compassion: We all suffer, time to time about a gamut of things. And very often, we end up criticizing ourselves or our environment harshly for what caused the suffering. The key is to remember to treat ourselves, the way we would a friend! Compassion is the ability to say “it’s okay” and further to ask oneself “how I can comfort myself and care for myself” despite the situation. Just think about it, has the harsh evaluation ever helped really? 

4. Acceptance: Now, we are all flawed in some way or the other aren’t we? We can neither always be right nor always wrong! It is important that we give ourselves a margin for error because there is a treasure there! Only if we accept our shortcomings, will we be able to do something about it. It takes the stance of flexibility and helps generate ideas about what we can do as opposed to the rigid stance of “I am like this”. The latter is a recipe for self-loathing. With some effort, we may not become experts, but if we try, we ‘evolve’ to be better people ☺

5. Gratitude: It is but natural to focus on the 1 thing undone while 99 things, done! Remember, to activate focus on the 99 things! This can be practiced every day at the end of day by answering a simple question of “what is it I am grateful for about myself and my environment today?”. A small practice goes a long way!

6. Know your boundaries: Boundaries especially in relationships are a very important aspect to remember. It sets the theme of how one wants to be treated. It directs the way other people behave with us. Stay assertive of what is acceptable and what is not. Boundary violations can cause an unhealthy relationship with oneself (for ex: self-pity) and others. This applies to relationships across the board. 

7. Practice a hobby: A hobby is very important to have because it gives us a purpose beyond the mundane! It serves as an anchor in times of stress making us more self-reliant and provides the entertainment we ‘need’ to enhance vitality in life.

8. Challenge yourself every once in a while: To do the things we aren’t very good at is as necessary as the vice versa. It may be a source of fun learning and overall development. It can be simple things like camping, even if you don’t really like it, or watching a play, even if you aren’t interested. For all you know, everything has a lot to teach. 

It may seem like a lot, however, remember to take it one step at a time!